About the editor:
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Hey, didn't see you there.
The name's Riley. Oh? you didn't ask for my name? Well, you probably also didn't ask to know that I am a student here at CCHS who sings in our Chamber and Bell Choirs! Being an editor for the opinion grab-bag page is a challenging job but I hope to inspire some joy and laughs while reading the news! |
"Prom Perfection"
Preposterous Personal Prom Pre-Planning Probing Preview: CCHS students' planning for dances often takes a lot of different angles, here are just a few from those I interviewed! “Planning for a dance is super fun because you can do things that you already were planning on doing but you have an excuse for it!” - Hanah Chanthapuang “I didn't go to prom” - Anonymous (i'm not going to snitch on my boy like that!) “we didn't rly plan it lol plans r cringe dances have too many people. 2.3/10” - Anonymous “I thought it was so fun. I didn't do much planning, but I know the boys made reservations for the day date and dinner ahead of time." - Ava Lindman "I usually just like to sit back and let it happen, because it's always fun no matter what!!” - Chloe Scott “Whipped out the eBird to see where snow geese were last spotted, grabbed the field guides and binoculars and hopped in the minivan” - Hunter Hickock (he was just talking about birds? idk) "It was very hectic since we did not plan anything really besides the day before so it was very spontaneous." - Kaleb Judd |
BY RILEY HAMADA EDITORIAL EDITOR Many CCHS students are getting ready for the 2024 prom dance, starching their suits, ordering boutonnieres and corsages at whatever price they can get, glittering up their dresses with the finest of *sparkle*, etc. It is time to dance! Go ahead! Spend your time stressing about who to ask, or worrying about whether or not YOU will be asked out to this dance. Maybe you will rally the courage and ask that one cute girl in your math class who keeps tutoring you despite your consistently failing results. Watch as you spend hours on the poster, making sure every character is written out with delicacy, care, and a perfect 3” font size. You go to three different stores looking for just the *perfect* treat to go along with the poster, it must. Be. PERFECT. D-day, crowds begin to gather around your future prom date, you push and wriggle your way into the front of the waves of potential suitors for Sally McGee. Soldiers on D-day had less things to worry about than you at this moment. You are ecstatic to see that in a couple of days, you too receive a poster by Ms. Mcgee, a sign that must be of the greatest importance ever. You quickly gather a group, NO! A team! To plot and scheme and try to seem as if the prom plan was a slick and quick-made schedule. |
You push each member to their limits with you as you constantly argue and bicker for your perfect date, compromise is for the weak when prom is at stake!
THE DAY. SATURDAY. MARCH TWENTY SECOND, 2024. You wake up in a cold sweat, you couldn’t get any sleep, only getting visions of the day ahead, possible pitfalls, and anxious nightmares of what could go wrong on this perfect day. The day's event goes well, everyone tries to talk to you and Sally, but you’ve already told them to follow the perfect script you’ve written three weeks ago, (it’s rather annoying that they DIDN'T follow it.) But okay, this date will go right, NEEDS to go right, otherwise your entire high school career will go up in smoke and flames! The dance begins in earnest, you all drive up to the school, you already feel the sweat and smell of 300+ high school boys moshing in the gym. Entering, your friends all leave you to go with, in their words, “less controlling company”. Who needs THEM on your perfect date?! The dance goes well (for you at least) and you drive back home to your date’s house, she calmly walks out of the car and compliments you by quietly calling you a “perfectionist prick” clearly for your sharp outfit and ability to plan. A perfect date. |
"Lifetime Fitness Sucks"
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BY ANNA YERGENSEN I’m just gonna say it, Lifetime Fitness is terrible. It isn’t fun and it actually makes you do work. You’re in the fitness room and trying to get your heart rate above a certain level in order to be graded. Scott Larsen, a senior here at CCHS, agrees. “It’s pointless and stupid. At times it can be fun but most of the time it’s pointless.” which leaves the argument, why do it? No one enjoys it and unless you’re an athlete or exercise enthusiast, it’s gonna suck, AND you have to take it to graduate, so it’s a lose-lose situation. Some people have done it online, like Lily Hersch. “I mean I wouldn’t say that I learned anything that I didn’t know. It’s probably good for freshmen or people who just don’t know the basics of the body. But for people who exercise regularly and athletes, it’s kind of pointless.” |
That’s what I’m thinking of taking, it sounds way easier and nicer than in person. Aleks Marr also took in online, not wanting to do it in person like the rest of us. “It was very informative and as long as you stayed on top of your work, it’s a pretty simple class.” Later they said, I will never recover, I will never forget, I will never forgive.
Here’s the thing with regards to the people that are athletes or exercise regularly, Why should they take a fitness class when their sport already fills the quota? I’m a dancer, and so I’m gonna have to take that class and then have to dance. No thank you, I’d rather just dance and take a different class. Additionally, many athletes fail the class for not being able to get their heart rate with what they are doing. Most of them I know have barely made it through with a passing grade, not having it be their fault. Yes, having an active class CAN be good for students, but how much is it really? Lifetime fitness is just a pain and it’s another thing that we just have to bear through to graduate. |
"Vaping: A thesis"
Juul? No! Dum-Dum Flavors! Swap from the Nic-Stick to the Sweet-Sucker with my top 10 flavors!
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BY RILEY HAMADA
EDITORIAL EDITOR I think more students should be vaping, smoking weed, and getting up to all sorts of evil hijinks. Good, now that I have your attention PTA, Dina Kohler, School Board, and the student body at large, we need to talk about drugs. Now in truth, I don’t vape. I'm not an expert in drug abuse like other students at this school, but let me say that I have experience dealing with the nicotine-nasties. In my four years of being a student at CCHS I have seen dozens of students vape along with countless instances of “kid-in-stalls-not-moving-while-there-is-a-sickly-strong-smell-of strawberry-sorbet-scents.” It's annoying. I really don't see how hard it is to catch kids doing drugs, the north hall bathrooms before school are a hotbed of hotboxing the stalls. I’ve had numerous instances where I would be trying to use the bathroom, only to see 5-6 other dudes just hanging around the stalls, clouds still wasping around the bathroom air. What really sucks is that they proceed to all look at ME, as if I'M the one doing something wrong! |
Vaping and general shenanigans in the bathrooms have gotten to such an extreme that whenever I go into the bathrooms, I jangle my car keys when entering just to scare the freshmen and underclassmen into scrambling into the stalls, just to give me some privacy. “I mean it's always kinda funny when you walk into the bathroom, get hit in the face with tutty fruity mango dango, and then watch as 9 people come out of the special needs stall” - senior Ara Messarian If you are an underclassmen vaping, I'm not going to lecture you about its negative consequences in this article because if the DARE lion couldn’t convince you, I doubt some second-rate senior is going to give you the push you need. But all I am asking is that you be a bit more considerate. Use a stall, use a better flavor, use someone’s car, but don't just stare at the poor unfortunate souls who try to use the bathrooms for their intended purpose. (And if you bastards keep it up imma start racketeering you guys for 10$ before I start naming names.) |
"Redbull Slushie"
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BY LILY HERSCH
HEAD EDITOR I remember it like it was yesterday. I was driving down State Street, looked to my right (I was not driving, I pay attention to the road [can most CCHS students say that?]) and there it beamed, like a cancerous tumor: Sonic. Then, I glanced to the marquee: “R3DBULL SLUSH1E. 3.99.” And I thought, “That would kill a small Victorian child.” The second I conceptualized the idea of a Redbull slushie, its essence captured my interest (and disgust) entirely. A Redbull slushie…I could only imagine the chokehold it may have on college students and guys named Trevor with a denim jacket entrenched in cigarette smoke. Simply put, the idea of a sugar-laden drink mixed with a drink that gives you wings deeply unsettled me. How was this cultured in a meeting room by Sonic officials? Does this follow HHS guidelines? If I were to consume a large Sonic Redbull Slushie, then follow it up with a Nyquil, would I die? Jolly Ranchers? Questions floated in my mind, with answers to no avail. “I don’t like Redbull, but I think my friends would really like it.” says Madison Claar, CCHS junior. No comment. |
Yet, despite my initial nausea towards the concoction, according to my research done on CNBC, one of these bad boys has a maximum of one Redbull, 80 milligrams of caffeine (that being if you order a 44 ounce slushie).
That said, a Route 44 equals 143 grams of sugar; an average Redbull contains about 37 grams. So, I have to wonder what a ratio of 143:80 would do on the human nervous system. I’d hope the worst effect would be a wicked afternoon-slump in Calculus. When I asked any of my friends if they also would have a problem with such an abominable creation of America, CCHS junior Kenna Gibbons merely said “No. Panera death lemonade.” And no, I do not know what that means. The long-term effects of this libation have yet to be seen, but if I were to prophesy, I feel it will be similar to cigarettes and the like: first, they’re predicted to have no harm. Perhaps, they may even bring benefits. And then, like a vicious, venomous, vile snake, it bites its victims in the neck with a vengeance incomparable to no other. Be warned, my “public bathroom” kombucha (I love you Brittany Broski) will be no match to this atrocity of mankind… |
"The New York Experience"
Bright lights, comedy stars, celebrities left right and center, New York! The Big Apple! The concrete jungle where dreams are made of! CCHS Choirs recently went on tour to NYC and let me say that the experience was amazing! Such a fun time seeing the sights and getting to experience all the beauties (and not-so-beauties) of the city that never sleeps.
But what is the “New York Experience” after all? Is the city all glitter and glam or is all that glitters not truly gold? I have recently spent most of the prior week in NYC, and let me just say I might’ve found the true meaning for the NYC E. Weed. Oh my lord, there is a lot of weed in New York City. You thought the PA hall was bad? It barely holds a candle to even the most high-esteem places in the big city. Everywhere, from Times Square to Central Park, Rockefeller Center to the statue of Liberty, weed shops and CBD establishments pepper the streets on almost every corner. Each step you take runs a 40% chance of getting a whiff of cigarette or pot smoke, the other 60% being a mix of subway funk, assorted vape flavors, pee, or simply MUST. Another aspect of New York City was the amazing sights to see! Times Square was absolutely stunning and I enjoyed all of the sensory details whether it be the smell of street vendor food, the bright advertisements, and the hollering Mickey-Mouse’s and Elmo’s asking for a picture at TS! |
The Statue of Liberty and the Manhattan skyline were stunning feats of human engineering and connection, hundreds of hands worked to forge the American dream and it’s an amazing sight to see.
One notable monument was the 9-11 memorial, despite not being alive on September 11th, I always find the monument a good place for reflection and contemplation (ignoring the kids who proceeded to loudly play patty-cake for the entire time there). There are often a lot of scams and tricks that native New Yorkers will use to get your money, and I observed many a family getting a quick selfie with a Luigi & Mario, only to be heckled into spending 30 bucks for the privilege. A lot of the food in little trucks and carts is marked up and the prices are deliberately hidden from view so that you have no idea how much something is until societal convention prevents you from backing out of your purchase. Despite the prices, weed smell, and chaos, NYC was amazing. The Broadway shows we saw were spectacular, the food was great, and shopping in the city was super fun with my best friends (who may or may not have gotten pooped on by a seagull). “The New York Experience” is a 10/10 that I will never forget! |
Not Just mE! The New York Experiences of CCHS students!
"Choir tour was amazing! It was so fun to get to know everyone better and see some of the awesome things that NY has to offer. We all had a great time together at a workshop learning songs from Wicked and then seeing the show later that night!!” - Choir President Emily Memmott
“New York was worth it even though my kids meal was less expensive and more food than my friend's (thank you Ellis island café)” - Amber Hinkson
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” - Jasmine Washington (After getting pooped on by a seagull)
“My favorite show was Wicked, I am so happy I got the opportunity to see it” - Alyssa Miller
“The ‘New York City Bagel’ was overrated af, it wasn’t bad by any means, but it was just good.” - Riley Hamada
“Going to New York with the choir department was super fun!! I've always wanted to go there, so this was an amazing experience. I loved getting to spend the weekend with my friends sightseeing, watching plays on Broadway, and so much more!!” - Chloe Scott
“New York was worth it even though my kids meal was less expensive and more food than my friend's (thank you Ellis island café)” - Amber Hinkson
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” - Jasmine Washington (After getting pooped on by a seagull)
“My favorite show was Wicked, I am so happy I got the opportunity to see it” - Alyssa Miller
“The ‘New York City Bagel’ was overrated af, it wasn’t bad by any means, but it was just good.” - Riley Hamada
“Going to New York with the choir department was super fun!! I've always wanted to go there, so this was an amazing experience. I loved getting to spend the weekend with my friends sightseeing, watching plays on Broadway, and so much more!!” - Chloe Scott